i am tired.

but i am here because i am happy.

christina spiderman screwed up and got ro mama upset. and me too. cos i might have to do what i was slogging for the past week over again and that makes me sad.

i feel burdened. the job. the camp design stuff. mingzong sir's company logo. the children ministry logo. my own projects. the publicity thing for gb. tuition. the bookmark thing on sunday. i feel very tired, but i am the one who is taking it up on my own without being forced. nobody put a knife to my throat to want me to do it. but in my youth, if i dont strive for my Lord, when will i do it? when i am old and weary? i am encouraged by the words in the bible. and they are keeping me sane. so is my happymarkerbook.

and did i tell anyone? my bad stock rose. by zero point zero two. hahas. did quite bad this semester. unestimated some, overestimated some. i will work hard next semester.

i got one concept almost done for the camp already. but i really dont want to work till two again tonight. i think my fat body cant take it anymore.

though i am tired, if boss wants me to work one more week, i will. but i am definitely taking this friday off. i am tired and i want to go see william to learn some things i asked him to teach.

da jie jie is kind today. i was sorta in a rush to leave earlier cos boss left earlier, she was about to leave too but need to clear up a bit. i will usually wait to help them to close the place, but she told me to leave first. not like a big deal but it is nice of her. she is nice la. just weird.

we compared arms today. my arms measure almost seventy centimetres from the shoulder to the middle finger. edelweiss got short arms. hahas. ro mama is the monkey. shifu got promoted so we are all going to lunch with boss tomorrow. when i left, boss gave me a treat. when senior intern left, boss gave a treat too.

i am glad i left early today. i saw my lecturer. and i kinda miss school. he was driving and he said he is picking up his ex girlfriend, who is his wife. ha ha ha. he is very nice till he starts his jokes. i miss school. i miss these encouraging people from school. especially sam. i really cant bring myself to say that i am no good in anything. its depressing ya? but he is a good man. my illustration lecturer is very nice too. the old man is nice. i wanna grow up to be like them.

sometimes i feel that God has a purpose for making me no good in design and is still in design school. because He gives me no other options but to pursue design or serve Him. haha. He sure plans well. eversince the tribute thing or whatever it is called came up, and auntie karfoon is guiding us now in the YE, full time church worker is a term that keeps ringing in my head. i think i am not ready yet. but i still want to serve the Lord alot. i dont want to be the wicked servant in the parable of the talents.

i miss my buns. i am not trying to be mean but i miss the convenience it brings to get music in my ears. but if i tell amanda that she should be able to dance without a tune but just to indulge in God's loveliness, i am sure the worship lives in my heart though for the last few times i tried to sing at the bus stop when i am tired, i just sang the line i could sing of Your love forever over and over again. for five minutes. for ten. i just kept going on. i think its because i know that His love cannot run out for us to sing. sing then. for His love.

i got a lot that i had wanted to say before but i forgot. like how people always laugh at my poem. my there is a block with two bushes, which acts like hands. at least i was happy when writing it. i am writing tons of senseless poems lately. totally unlike the stuff that ian writes. thats why he is my ou xiang lah. i look up to people who writes well. i think the ability to write well covers up every inadequacies one might have.

i was reading this line from andrew's online diary, It is a long time since I saw any genuine smile. and i thought of the book that mz sir showed me about body language and all, how to tell a genuine smile from a fake. but i think a smile is felt by the heart.

i am going to rest now.