i did some stuff.

not sure if it's right. but it's not bothering me like if i did stuff wrongly.

i was going home and i needed to use the toilet urgently. i see a man lying alongside the road. i think he is fine. but i am not sure. and i am scared to approach him. in case he is drunk or anything like that. but i am worried. and it was bothering me. but i just kept walking and looking back. i have this feeling that he is fine but i am really not sure. and since there is this fire post at the void deck of my house, i went to tell the people there. like i said, i think he is fine. but i am not sure. so i told one of them that there is a man lying alongside the pavement but i am not sure what had happened. they rushed to see. i think the man is fine. but will the people in the fire post think that i am playing a trick on them sort of thing cos they kinda rushed there to see if the man is fine. i am really not trying to play a fool but what if, what if the man is really not right. and in any circumtances, they will be able to help the man better than i can right? i hope they dont blame me and i hope i am right because i think i am right.

do you think i did the right thing?

i went down to hq and became stupid there. as in waste precious time there.

i am very thankful because i made a conscious choice of going home instead of hanging out somemore after dinner. because i think i will be a pleasing to God and my mother if i went home. i was very happy when i made the choice even though going out to have fun is more fun than going home i feel. i was so happy that i decided to walk home. it was a really nice cool weather and i felt really at peace with myself. i know my mother will be happier if i was at home the time i reached home rather than a few hours later even though she wont say it out. and today during the walk i thought of a lot of stuff. stuff like, how i find my purpose in life, and what are my big joys and little joys. my big joys are things like worship and spending time with the Father, spending time with family, and making presents for people. my little joys are things like eating mango mousse and drawing and making books. so by making the choice of going home, i made the choice to be joyful. because mother is family and there is so much i can do at home. i felt like a little child, trying to skip some steps and sing out loud. i lost the lyrics in my head again and all i could really sing in tune was , You are magnificent... thats all. but it is true, isnt it?

and i switched off my handphone for a while and then i saw this greeting message that makes me smile. it says *cookies arnd CREAM! i dont know what it means, unless she meant to say cookies and cream. each week when they get their hands on my mobile, they leave little things like this. and its sorta disturbing because i dont really like people changing my stuff but i never change them unless it is really important to me because i think maybe they like to be remembered during the week too. i dont know, but each time i see those cute stuff they leave for me like xiao en shi tou or ahahhahaha i smile and i remember them. maybe if i was as cute as them, i will do exactly the same thing actually. because i like being remembered fondly too. there are some people who will pop in my head in the week and i will smile. and i am thankful for them.

i am very thankful for auntie karfoon too. i dont want to burden people with my burdens but sometimes i just dont know what i can do, so i will message her. but i know she is very busy already but when i message her, and she answers, i will feel comforted, which is why i message her. and i hope i am not a pest.

tomorrow is denise's birthday. and louis sir too. two other people i will recall fondly. one more than the other. hahas. its obvious who.

God is the giver of my joy and He is my joy. His grace abundant and His mercies overflow. His love, deep and i am unworthy.