i was reading my sad_mocha hotmail emails. and i realised thats where they have been sending mails to. haha. i kept a lot of stuff in that email from a long time ago. theres a lot of encouraging messages from my brothers and sisters in Christ which i kept for a long long time.

was reading stuff that i sent to mr chim before.
i was sucha joyous and happy kid back then. very crazy, kinda haphazard, a bull in a chinashop, living my life without a care, not because of very strong faith back then, but cos i think i didnt know anything. five years passed. grown older, spent more time thinking, still cant hold a conversation. a little weary, disillushioned with life before, but more certain of my position in God. i wouldnt know how to live life like before. joy jie came for the bbq just now, she was talking to mr joshua. mr joshua said that if he could live his life again, he would change parts of it. i just looked up - i wouldnt want to change anything at all. for twenty years of my life, i risen and fallen and some things dont matter as much now because all that endless pursuit of it during my youth made me tired and made me see the neccessary evil of it.

i was a happy kid. and i am a happy adult to be.

we had cell outing just now. thank you God, thank you junhao/catherine's mummy, thank you junhao/catherine and zhicong - i think we sorta made him the maid or sth. it was a very nice evening spent together.

i was sharing about making friends easier in the dark. like in the dark segment of the darkroom. hahaha. lame.

i was sharing a lame joke. its proven lame and thus shall be presented to you. hehee.

monday - thursday was tiring. then friday came and i spent half the day in church doing nothing but feeling so recharged. talked to william about some stuff troubling me and aunty kf enlightened me about some stuff too. talked to junhao during the SLIC day and is nice. lala.

i am just looking forward to baby, and everyone to get married in the cell. hahaa. mr joshua was saying that he will probably get me to make his wedding card too then i asked whens he getting married or does he have someone in mind. hahaha.

xiangyun came to GB today and i am so glad to see her. but i forgot that i should be talkin to her. i am sucha lousy officer. i should have talked to her personally about personal growth. argh. lousy me.

i picked sth up from uncle william's office to give to a friend. sounds cheapo but its the thought that counts, like the cloth book, like the books sewn, like the little note in your book, like the cat hp accessory, the hippo clips, the little bag, like the rainbow pictures, they cost nothing really much but cos i get reminded of you all when i see them so i buy them. i associate people with certain things, so when i see them, i will remember you. so i remember some people some day so i wont forget all my friends. when i saw suan la tang, i thought of denise. i like giving presents, but i am kinda stuck at your present.

i am incoherent now. when i am tired, i hear voices.

i always found ACTS in the bible a little tiring to read, but i think its not tiring at all. perhaps the mind has grown a little more erms cant find a word.

aunty jo was sharing about a little about marriage cos joy's friend is getting married and she doesnt want to move into a hdb. aunty jo said that she moved into st peter's hall with uncle william and slept in a bed that is slanted, i presume like the pews in my church. marriage is really sticking out with each other, loving each other and encouraging each other in the ways of the Lord.

i need to shower.

(: