i think the reason why i cannot cope is because i dont want to except for the writing essay part. i am totally not critical at all. and i got no idea what my classmates are talking about in history class about the essay. i think i have written good essays before in tp. i got my As and my distinctions, i got my work published, i got commended before, so i think i still smelly smelly can write quite well, if not okay. i am feeling a bout of insecurity and low self esteem. so when you see me, please smile at me to assure me that i am human.

i am starting to hate the things i do to people sometimes. as much as i dont threaten and extort money from them, i havent been very kind.

attempted to wake up at six this morning, it was a failed attempt. got up at nine plus, lazed around, started the rub stuff at twelve. got the layout, need to fit stuff in and then its okay. i hope it can be finished by monday.

i just realised that i didnt do a very good job brushing my teeth. food really get stuck at the back where the wisdom tooth is.

i met a lot of people at holland v. but i didnt see jesse. i always see him there when i am there but i didnt see him today. hahaa. holland v is very crowded. i think i will hate it when the mrt is ready. sigh. oh ya. saw a lot of people. i saw joshua. thought he was going to join us at nydc, it turned out that he is meeting his friends at walawala. he was so funny when he exclaimed that the whole world is in holland v. hahaa. saw some sjc peeps too. didnt notice it was them at first, but was looking in that direction because of the all-too-familiar st margs uniform, then i saw a tall head sticking out, then i realised that it was familiar faces. familiar things/people/feelings make me glad, doesnt it do the same for everyone? i see most people i think i might see in holland v, but i never see derek. maybe he went back to the philippines. i dont see his works in the papers anymore. lalalaa. the old man!

i got the guitar from william le. and knowing me, i string the guitar wrongly and had william shaking his head at me the whole time.

why is it that...
people you dont like will always call you, people like issac. i am thankful that he called at awkward times that i cant pick up. once during service, the other, a morning. i dont pick up calls until after 10 in the morning. i am changing my mobile phone number. if you feel you want to know, you can always ask me. but please DO NOT give out my phone number to anyone. i guess this is a good time to do that, after giving out many namecards, i think i should change my number.

i dont have cravings at all for the mushroom madness thing anymore. its not nice when its cold.


i am tired.
shirley :(: