i feel trapped by the whole idea of me going to teach some spoilt brats in local schools.
i hate the monotony of school. each week i know i am going to see dr blackburn talk about hitler and films, dr wang talk about the three principles of the people and mao, agnes chang talk about ed psych and eating curry puff in her lecture, its so expected. i know what i will see when i go to school. i hate it. i hate it when i go to the library and see some gorgeous design/photo books and i tell myself not to look at them because i am supposed to do ed psych, or do some hitler stuff. i hate it when i tell myself not to waste time doodling, 'cept during ed psych cos you will miss nothing important, because i have to write out the interview questions and find someone to conduct that stupid interview on. i hate school. i hate the library. i used to look forward to something exciting each day in school. i used to like school in the past. because each lesson was different. we had cake for dap, we had animation for illustration, we had advertistment for advertising. it was different. i hate stuff that i am doing now.

the best parts of a day/week/month is when
- i read the bible
- i draw
- i play with the guitar cos i cant play the guitar yet
- i have a lazy afternoon at some coffee shop
- i walk around looking aimless
- i have a good strawberryberry tart at starbucks
- i go to the beach to have a sun tan

the stuff in colour is what i do on a daily/less than regular but still more regular basis.

i am sorry if i sound upset. theres really nothing to be upset about actually in life.

i am trying to save money. not that thats a bad thing but i dont know what am i saving up for. for a better life tomorrow? for georg jensen cutlery in my house next time. i want finer things in life but i dont understand why. for now, i just want to go on a trip, trip trip trip. why do i not have good friends to go on trips with me? peiqi got silver for crowbar. hip hip hooray! but shes not free at the end of this year to go for trip because all her colleagues took off le. i havent asked vion, but i reckon she will go with her family.

i need to be excited for life again. and maybe pray for some courage to venture out on my own. no more just sentosa or pulau ubin. i am sure i can go further than that. i dont wanna go malaysia on my own. meanwhile i will think of a holiday destination that i think i can cope by myself. must be an english speaking place. cos my french totally cannot make it. i can go je'taime, je'taime all day long, but i dont think any frenchman would appreciate that. hahahaha. oh. i know something else. my favourite. vin blanc. i could get drunk on it and that will the end of my trip. hahaha.

and no more stoning in libraries. hahahaha.

i am not even going hahaha when i type those hahahaha.

my notebook is going to crash. and now its the time to decide whether its a new notebook or a camera. lallaa.

(: