its a bad 1030h onwards day. i went to school earlier today. cos i didnt want to be late for dr ben's lesson. i would rather be late, or better, absent, so i dont have to get back my essay. i got a miserable grade for the essay and horrendous comments. i was upset for the entire day after that. now, i am trying to come to terms with it. i have decided that its not his fault that i got a bad grade. if i am not good, i will try to improve man! the sad thing is that essay is 50% and theres no exams.

got to work harder for my other subjects.
but its gonna be hard to put up C-.
well, i got 3 1/2 more years to catch up.
pray that God will reign in me before i pursue academic success.

and then i got another test. boohoohoo.
its terrible. its a surprise test and i flunk it. i know all the answers but theres one part of the answer that i got all wrong. well well. if its over, its over.

i started thinking about what i was really good at.
sleeping, eating, doesnt really count right.

the third upsetting thing is that i keep feeling hungry. i feel so starved today no matter how much i ate. so i ate and ate and ate. i ate a bun for breakfast. a bun for lunch. a hum ching peng for tea. some pasta for dinner. and a little fried rice. i feel so pig.

and the last is about people. i thought we were all supposed to commit on fridays for cell. so what if the situation is different and the people involved have increased, arent we still supposed to meet? its very upsetting. committment sometimes is * when people dont take it seriously. anyway, i have no idea why they all cant make it and i dont wanna make a judgement.

sometimes i just wish i can disappear for a while.
just a short while.
really short.
a while.
.



(: